Reuben the Royal & Santa Clause

Hi humans and canine friends, Reubens here I have a very sad tale to relate it wasnt now it was at a latter date.  We will all remember that Christmas comes around every year, well last year I shed a miserable tear.  It was like this....on the eve of Christmas I was sleeping on the upstairs landing when I heard this unholy sound.  It shattered the house and it shook the ground.  First of all I opened one eye then the second but then, I wanted to cry.  I had been wondering why the children had left food and milk by the fire grate, mince pies on a lovely Xmas plate.  Why was the ladder put up on the outside wall, do you get the picture, oh please dont bawl.

I heard this tapping on the front door and the mistress walking along the hall and then, oh no, and then, I saw the mistress kissing Santa Clause, yes she was honest!  I couldnt believe my eyes, she thought that I was tucked up fast asleep in my kennel but I wasnt, oh no, I wasnt, I was awake for goodness sake!!!  I didnt know what to do I just sat there on the top stair wondering if I should tell the master but then I thought better of it as it would have been a disaster.

They were under something called mistletoe, I can understand toe but what about mistle, just look at the meaning I found on line ..........
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"The tradition of smooching under the mistletoe descends from the customs of several different cultures. For instance, exchanging kisses under the mistletoe was a tradition of Greek festivals and marital ceremonies. If a couple in love exchanges a kiss under the mistletoe, it is interpreted as a promise to marry, as well as a prediction of happiness and long life".

Now you can understand my predicament, all year I have been wondering are they going to marry, what about the master?  It hasnt been a good year for me and now, here we are again, he will return in his red suit and white beard and the clatter on the roof will sound very very weird.  Woe is me once again but your very good Royal I still remain. 

I have a few weeks to go before the eve and I am trying to work out how I can deceive, can I do this....mmmm no it had better be this, I know I can destroy the mistletoe!!! 

Or.....I wonder if I can sneak garlic into the pies, the look on his face would be a great surprise mmm..........A glass of sherry with a sleeping pill, no....that may make him far to ill, not fair when he is working the children would think that he was shirking.  I suppose I could give the sherry to the mistress, then tuck her up in bed......mmmm enough said.  Problem solved YESSSSSSSSS!!!!

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Goodwill to all men and women to, to the animals who see man through.  A problem is only a problem when we think it cannot be solved ..............