Juan v "Er in Doors"

Yes it's me again, going to have a bit of fun here, do you remember I said I am the subconscious of "Er in Doors, (we will call her EDI for short) well you all have one of me even though you may not realise it.  Everything is sent down the line to be stored in our vaults, oh boy do we have some stories to tell. 

Were you ever told how a poor little rat was frightened in the kitchen of the almighty Edi, she stood there towering over the poor little creature.  The house is situated next to an allotment and at this particular time there was a lot of manure being distributed, oh the smell yuck!  The top road was suffering from an invasion of the little creatures.  Ok we know they bring disease, ok we know all that but it does make one wonder why they are put on the earth, what role do they play in the scheme of things?  Anyway I have to admit that Edi was really worried about having to "kill" the little thing. 

What about the poor old rat though how did he fare as he eventually scarpered away, he was only looking for food for his loved one:-

It tiptoed around the clumsy hedges, it slid onto the ground,
It travelled along the moonlit pathways until it's nest it found.

His Mrs was there and she timidly asked him "what adventures my love tonight".
He spoke in a tiny whisper...

My love, I found this house along the hedges it's kitchen was warm and welcoming so I decided to venture in.  I tiptoed along the windowsill but then - there was this awful din!  I had alerted the mutts that lived in this house and I am not as dainty or as quiet as the mouse!  They barked and barked and scared me stiff, I tried to keep calm but my fear gave out this awful whiff.  Oh love there has to be something better in this life my darling, darling little wife.  I tried to stay as calm as I could and then....oh it doesnt bear thinking about, to remember makes my heart go down and down, it just keeps on sinking, there was this giant!!  This ugly great monster (ere that was er indoors, poor little thing), I think it is called woman.  It stood, just imagine it if you can, it stood in front of the sink, I tried to stay still, I tried not to blink.

Those pesky creatures which man call dogs had gone quiet, they stood and watched my tail, it was to late to move it, to hide my being.  I was just hoping they would go on seeing and thinking it was a part of the sill, the thought of them grabbing it was making me quite ill!  After a while another giant came in (Edi's daughter) oh my love this world of ours it is full of giants and not chocolate bars.

Well these two giants were trying to converse, to work out my demise, now love, please dont cry, just wipe your eyes.  They thought of this and they thought of that, I was very lucky there wasn't a cat.

 I thought to myself it is time to go so my whole body I had to show, but my darling darling little wife, I was to quick for them the bungling fools.  I jumped to there and over again, the dogs went mad but I ran just the same.  I escaped by the skin of my teeth and my long sleeky tail but alas my love, oh please darling do not wail, I have no food but I will try again but just for tonight in your safety I will remain, lets kiss and cuddle and try to forget our hunger and we will beat them yet.

So the rat it went to bed it did, it cuddled up and went to sleep dreaming of ways how to creep past the giants and the barking dog and wishing it was as big as a pig or a giant hog!  The night in the house was peaceful and quiet the giant slept easily with it's giant mate dreaming and scheming of the poor rat's fate.

So there we are dear friends, if only we knew why.......